Let’s say you have a friend who got engaged. You’re excited for them and their wedding planning and then you see that they posted this on Facebook (wording slightly changed to protect the identity of the poster):
It’s been a year since we got engaged and we have finally chosen a date for the wedding! We have already selected and paid for the venue, but we are using all of the money we make for the wedding and honeymoon. It costs a lot to have a nice wedding. It doesn’t matter what you give, every penny helps!
Then there’s a link for you to donate to the wedding. If you’re anything like me, you have an “Oh no, they didn’t!” moment.
Something about this concept really rubs me the wrong way (and not because I’m single and not getting married anytime soon). It’s great to have a nice event to celebrate your marriage with family and friends, but it’s also possible to have a small, simple and inexpensive wedding. One of my bride friends once said that “guests have it soooo easy, all they have to do is show up,” but after going to years of engagement parties, bridal showers, lingerie showers, bachelorette parties and weddings, I don’t feel inclined to make a cash contribution for someone’s big day.
I’ve spent more at Crate and Barrel and Victoria’s Secret for people getting married than I ever would for myself (says the girl who has IKEA dishes and often buys panties in a pack at Target). I’ve also cut lots of pieces of wedding cake and passed out hundreds of programs because I love my friends and I want to support them…but I don’t think I’ll help pay for any weddings until I’m walking down the aisle.
The couple has raised over $100, so some people must think it’s a good idea. Would you help a friend pay for their wedding?
Thanks to LR to pointing out the Facebook post.