Is Frugality Sexy?

October 24, 2011 in Saving,Singleness

I went to CVS yesterday to score some free candy corn and the cashier complimented me on how I got my total down to zero.  Then he gave me my receipt and asked me on a date.  Was he smitten by my amazing coupon skills? I’m not sure, but I think frugality is a good quality in a potential mate.  Sometimes I worry that this blog will be like guy repellent.  I imagine someone googling me before a date and wondering why they agreed to go out with a girl who camped out in a Chick-fil-A parking lot and doesn’t have cable.

A cheapskate may be a turn off, but someone who’s smart with their money probably has other areas of their life together too.   A survey by ING Direct found that “the majority of men (61 percent) find a frugal blind date to be ‘smart’ and ‘sexy.’”  Budgeting, investing and saving may be yawn inducing to a lot of people, but I think that they’re all habits that I’ll look for when I consider getting in a serious relationship.  I’d prefer a guy to take me on a creative, affordable date than feel the need to impress me with an expensive one.  I think it means a lot for someone to invest in themselves and save for the future, instead making frivolous purchases that provide  instant and temporary gratification.  As the economic downtown continues and more and more people understand the importance of saving, frugality may become a more attractive quality for a lot of daters.

Do you think frugality is sexy?

Photo: sxc.hu

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

chelseavose October 25, 2011 at 1:37 pm

I am so glad you wrote this blog because I have wondered the same thing. I am just as frugal as you and always think if I tell I guy I got my outfit at a 2nd hand store will he look at me with disgust?.. But overall most guys I come across find it very attractive. I think it shows that I am good with my money, know how to save, and am not going to go out and spend all my husbands money once I get into wed-lock. :) I am cheap and proud of it!

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single&saving October 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Hooray for frugal girls! A woman who can put together a great outfit from a second hand store should be considered a keeper. Thanks so much for reading.

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Shannyn (@FrugalBeautiful) October 26, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Frugality is a turn off when you HAVE to use frugality for everything to survive (it’s not fun to be completely broke) or when you’re frugal about EVERYTHING. To me, frugality is sexy when I or a partner can employ some money saving tactics so we can feel like champions leaving the grocery store but it can be a drag when you don’t use the money saved to something fun (or you know, splurge on something like flowers!)

What I find the biggest turn on is when a guy is smart on small purchases so we can have options for bigger purchases. Nothing is hotter than a guy that has his act together, and if he finds it a turn off that I’m frugal and financially independent then we aren’t a good fit!

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single&saving October 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I couldn’t have put that better myself, Shannyn! It’s so true that there’s nothing hotter than a guy that has his act together. I really hope that I can find a guy who shares my financial priorities. I feel like I work hard at my finances so I can splurge on the things I really enjoy (travel, donating to charity, meals with friends), and it would be great to meet someone who has the same balance in his life.

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Allison October 28, 2011 at 8:04 am

Hello, Andrea! Allison from BBCATL here! So glad to have met you!
So – did you accept the date?
I agree, frugality and being smart in more ways than a degree are very important in a mate! Especially if you’re over 21 years old.
Good luck! I think you’re doing great!

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single&saving October 28, 2011 at 10:47 am

Hi Allison! Thanks for stopping by. It was great meeting you at BBCATL too (by the way, you look great in the pictures that Tiffany posted…how I wish I was photogenic)! I did not accept the date. I REALLY love that CVS location and I didn’t want to jeopardize my relationship with one of my favorite drugstores. CVS would clearly be his turf if we dated and it didn’t work out. Sooo…I chose good deals over a potential love interest.

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Marie November 16, 2011 at 4:06 am

I honestly think it might be. My husband is turned off by girls who spend too much money and especially on things they don’t need. I’ve had a few friends agree with him. They’d rather date someone who’s smart about their money and knows how to budget.

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Jenny March 28, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I am VERY interested in this topic and may study this area for my dissertation (when is saving sexy?). I’ve noticed that people generally shy away from referring to themselves as a saver because it might elicit images of coupon-clipping and Scrooge McDuck. On the other hand, I feel like egregious spending is an undesirable quality in a mate as well. Some research coming out from eHarmony is finding that BOTH men and women who refer to themselves as being “frugal” are 25% more likely to be contacted than when self-described as a spender. WHY is it that being a saver is desirable in the mating market, but conspicuous consumption would suggest otherwise?

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Single & Saving March 28, 2012 at 8:49 pm

This would be a great dissertation topic and I would be really interested in seeing the results if you study it further. I think it may be more fun in the moment to date a spender, but I don’t think too many people find consumer debt appealing when they want to settle down with someone for the long run. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jenny!

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MakintheBacon$ July 29, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I totally think frugality is sexy. My bf is frugal and that’s one of the qualities I love about him. I dated a spender before and it bugged me a lot that he wasn’t very careful with his money.

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Single & Saving July 31, 2012 at 8:15 pm

I think dating a spender would bug me too. It seems that the majority of stories about divorce say that disagreement over money is a big factor in relationships ending, so opposites probably don’t attract when it comes to personal finance.

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Jenny July 31, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Great points! The thing that’s on my mind is the potential “boredom” of dating someone perceived as a “cheapskate.” How can a relationship be exciting without spending money, whether on material goods or experiences? I’m definitely on the side of frugality being sexy, but I’m trying to see all sides here. How can a saver be viewed as “fun”?

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Single & Saving July 31, 2012 at 9:32 pm

The line between “frugal” and “cheap” can be a thin one. I’m really big on experiences, so I would hate to date someone who wanted to just hang out at home all the time, but I would be happy dating someone who took the time to be creative in finding fun, lower cost things to do and then occasionally spending for something bigger like a trip or show. I think going to free museum day can be as fun as something way more expensive, so there are some free options out there that can be pretty entertaining.

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