Thank you, Yahoo! Shine for posting an article about the “10 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Singles.” I’ve seen these articles about the things you shouldn’t say to a bride, pregnant woman or mom, so it was refreshing to see an article that acknowledges the dumb things that people say to singles. Whether someone’s been married for 30 years or three months, I feel like they’re prone to “married person amnesia” that makes them forget about what it was truly like to be single.
I’ve noticed that as I get closer to 30, there’s a lot more unsolicited advice and questioning about my marital status (or lack thereof), so it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who hates hearing these things. Here are some of the things that especially irk me:
1. “Why aren’t you married?”
I get this one a lot. Whether it’s from a family member or a stranger, I stumble over what to say. “Guess it’s not my time yet” is what normally comes out, but “none of your freakin’ business” is what I’m really thinking.
2. “Have you tried online dating?”
This one is especially bad when it comes from the over 50 crowd that’s been married since high school. Online dating looks awesome in commercials. But it was a sad, yet hilarious, experience for me that didn’t yield any dates. It’s great that it worked for your co-worker, niece, sister, cousin, etc., but I’m not doing it again anytime soon.
3. “Stop being so picky.”
Sometimes people try to set me up with “guys who’d be perfect” for me. Honestly, this is typically code for “random black guy.” Your boyfriend’s token black friend and I may totally hit it off, but I like to know more about someone’s background and personality before I’m going to go on a date with them. Same situation for the really nice waiter you had at Red Lobster last night and the security guard in your building. If that’s pick, then I’m definitely picky.
5. “What ever happened with [insert ex’s name here]?”
He has a receding hairline. Next.
8. “You should smile more/flirt more/wear your hair differently/wear more makeup.”
I was seriously told by someone that I’d be married if I didn’t cut my hair. And don’t get me started when random guys on the street tell me to smile. I will not date these men. Isn’t kind of weird for someone to smile all the time?
I think people who say these things often mean well, but they usually just leave me frustrated. Maybe we can all make it a rule to be polite and not ask nosy personal questions. Are there questions and pieces of advice that annoy you?